Forgiveness is when you stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone or self for committing an offence, flaw, or mistake against you. It is an act that once exercised, demonstrates strength, and integrity in one’s character. Everyone has the ability engrafted in them to forgive self and others. It is a gift from God given to each of us freely, but not everyone exercises this gift.
What causes one to not forgive self and others?
There are several reasons why someone would refuse to forgive self and others. These reasons are not to be placed in any kind of order because they vary for each individual. Nevertheless, they are provided to give you an overall understanding of why someone would refuse to forgive self and others. The first reason on the list is holding on to the hurt and disappointment caused by the offence, flaw, or mistake committed. Second, is not having a full understanding of what forgiveness entails and refusing to be informed. Thirdly, for those that know and understand what God’s word says about forgiveness and refuses to render it, they are being disobedient to God. Fourthly, to not forgive is to not love God, self, and the person that is unforgiven. Fifthly, is lacking wisdom, knowledge, understanding, compassion, and not being spiritually minded, but consumed by the things and cares of the world which leads to death. Sixthly, is lacking a relationship with God by not being consistent in prayer, reading His word, and fellowshipping with believers. And lastly, fighting our own battles and not allowing God to fight for us.
What happens to us when we forgive?
We become free! We are freed from our hurts, pains, disappointments, fears, stresses, depression, anxieties, sicknesses, and other immobilizations that unforgiveness brings. In exercising forgiveness, we are spiritually mature – having a heart of love, peace, patience, understanding, knowledge, wisdom, revelation, spiritual insights and foresights. We are able to move forward in our purpose and become further blessed by God. When we forgive God’s richest blessings are also released in our lives for us to be a blessing to others. We cannot become a blessing to others the way God wants us to, if we cannot get past the flaws, mistakes, or offences committed against us.
Forgiveness is also critical to harmony in any given situation – in marriage, on the job, at church, etc. Instead of obsessing about how we have been wronged, we should treat others the way God treats us. For example, ” Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgives you.” (Colossians 3:13)
Written By: Iodelle A. Chinnery